I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
