so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
