The maid of honor just puked.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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