I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
