Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
