franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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