he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
