Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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