i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
