Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
