we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
