In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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