You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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