I didn't shave. On purpose
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
