She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
