I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize