it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i was born a porn star she said
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
