Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize