when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He? As in you personified your dick?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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