you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
