His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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