god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
