so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
