Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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