dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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