No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize