look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
