I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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