so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
