I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
