he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
