He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
