i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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