3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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