I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
