We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize