The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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