So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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