I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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