So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
