Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize