Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
