Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize