I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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