Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize