he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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