Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
