I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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