Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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