Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize
