Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my shit smells like andre
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
