This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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