in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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