defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
