every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
