btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize