At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
