She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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