Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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