before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize