12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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