You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
