There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
