Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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