i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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