im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
