I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize