Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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