I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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