I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
