you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize