i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
