I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
