Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
