The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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