There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
